January 24, 2021
The Lie: Good Only Loves us when we are good.
Matthew 9:9-13
We are part way through our series titled “The lies we tell ourselves.” Part of being transformed into all that we are meant to be is to align our story with the stories of Jesus. We can’t do that if we keep living out of lies that we have picked up along the way. Often we don’t even realize that we are living out of a lie until God brings it to our attention. This morning I want to look at a lie that many people buy into. Here is the lie, God only loves us when we are good.
True Story
Pastor Jeff Gannon was sitting in his office one afternoon when the phone rang. The young woman on the phone said, “I just have a question. May I come to your church?”
Jeff was stunned by the question. “Can you come to our church? Of course you can. Why would you even feel a need to ask such a question?” he asked.
“Let me tell you my story before you answer,” she said.
The young woman went on to tell him that when she was a junior in high school she got pregnant by a young man who had no interest in her or the baby she was carrying. She decided not to get an abortion and, after some soul searching, began to feel a need to get her life in order. She went back to the church she had gone to when she was a young girl and started to feel that she was on the right track.
After a few months of attending church, she thought that other girls might benefit from her mistakes, so she asked the pastor if she could speak to the middle-school girls about the pressures of dating and sex. The pastor said to her, “No, I would never allow that. I am afraid that your type of person might rub off on them.” Though she felt rejected, she also felt at home in that church, so she kept attending. A few months after her baby was born, she called the pastor to schedule a Sunday on which she could have her baby baptized. The pastor said, “That is not going to happen in my church. I would never baptize an illegitimate baby.”
“Now that you know my story,” she said to Jeff, “can I still come to your church?
****
To some people, the reaction of the pastor may seem shocking and insensitive, which it is, but the truth of the matter is that it reflects the story which so many Christians believe. The story we tell ourselves is that “God only loves us when we are good.” That story is a lie.[1]
But that story is not only in the church it a story that is told over and over again in our culture. You probably hear it all the time. People believe that God’s love and forgiveness are commodities we buy with our performance. God’s love and forgiveness are earned through right living. It is usually expressed like this. If my good deeds outweigh my bad deeds, then I’ll make it to heaven.
This story comes out of a half-truth. It is true that God does not want us to sin. But the reason he doesn’t want us to sin is that sin harms us. Acts of goodness heal the one who does them and the ones they are done to. Being good and not being bad – it is not about earning God’s favour.
***
I know that some of you learned this lie from your parents. If you did something wrong, they punished you by withholding their love from you. “Get our of my sight, go to your room, no supper for you.” And if God is like our parents and he sees every wrong that we ever did – then of course he doesn’t love me when I am bad.
Henry Cloud says if you walk into a given church on Sunday you are apt to hear a message that goes like this: “God is good, you are bad, try harder.” Even those churches that kind of get grace – have this idea that we are saved by grace, but we continue our Christian lives by works. Ok – I know I didn’t deserve salvation – but now that I have salvation – I got to do good works to maintain it.
***
But this idea that God only loves us when we are good is not the God that Jesus showed us.
You heard the story of Matthew read a little earlier.
Matthew 9:9–11 (NIV)
9As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
You can tell that the lie that God only loves us when we are good was the dominant story in Jesus’ time by the response of the Pharisees. Tax Collectors like Matthew were seen to be sinners. The text even says that many of those types of people came and ate with Jesus.
The Pharisees were saying to Jesus that if you were righteous person you wouldn’t be associating with sinners.
Jesus tells the truth.
Matthew 9:12–13 (NIV)
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
There is so much in these two verses. Sin is seen as a sickness, a poison of the soul and what they need is a doctor of the soul. How do they get well? – Jesus says he calls sinners. How do they get well? They get well as they follow Jesus. What is our attitude to be towards sinners – Learn what God means when he says “I desire mercy.” We are not to withhold our love from people because they are sinners either.
Brennan Manning put it succinctly: “Jesus reveals a God who does not demand but who gives; who does not oppress but who raises up; who does not wound but heals; who does not condemn but forgives.”
That is who God is. Jesus doesn’t just love you when you are good. Jesus loves you – period!
Come with me to 1 John 4:10–11 (NIV)
10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
You can’t look at this passage and see anything but the truth that God loves us even when we sin. He provides a way to be forgiven of our sin and healed from our sin.
You will notice the passage does not say that we loved God, so in response God loved us. No, this is not quid pro quo. This is not God loving us when we are good and rejecting us when we are bad. This is showing us that while we were yet sinner Christ died for us. He doesn’t stop loving us when we are bad.
Jesus proclaimed in word and in deed that God loves us as we are – not as we should be. He doesn’t promise to forgive us only if we improve. He doesn’t promise to love only if we get better. God’s love is not something that you purchase by your behaviour. God’s love is something that he extends towards you with no strings attached.
I know that some of you have spent a lot of time trying to earn God’s favour. Some of you because of your vices and addictions and past have given up on trying to earn God’s favour and you have withdrawn from God. You figure that with the life that you have had that there is no way that God can really love you. Or that he loves you because he has to. But that is not the God who Jesus reveals.
You heard the story of Zacchaeus. Short guy, not liked, tax collector. He wants to see Jesus, so he climbs up into a tree. He gets the surprise of his life when Jesus stops and says, I am inviting myself for dinner. Zacchaeus has been rejected by his country men for being a tax collector, and rejected by the Romans for being a Jew, and yet Jesus comes along and show him love. He responds to that love by following Jesus.
Hear me clearly. God really loves you. He knows all about the past. He knows where you are stuck in the present. This is what he would say to you if he were here. “I really love you.” He would call you by name and say I really love you.
He hopes the love will be returned, but whether or not you do, he is not going to stop loving you. He will grieve for you if your soul is sick and you refuse his help. He will look for you to respond to his love by walking down the road towards his love. But please know that he loves you deeply, personally.
Hear me clearly, those of you who have been waking with Jesus for years. God really loves you. But he doesn’t love you because of all the good that you have done. He doesn’t love you because you have served in the church or in the community. He doesn’t love you for all the great things that you accomplished. He loves you for you. God sees you; he knows you, and God really does love you.
*****
So, what does God want from you?
The Westminster Larger Catechism, written in 1648, opens with a question and an answer: Question: What is the chief and highest end of man? Answer: Man’s chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy Him forever.
I love the concept of fully enjoying God forever, and forever starts now. Do you think that God wants you to enjoy him? I know that there are whole lot of people think that God wants to make them miserable, but I believe it is what God most wants.
Julian of Norwich once wrote, “The greatest honor we can give to God is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love.”
That is a shocking statement. The greatest honor we can give to God? Isn’t it to die for him on the mission field? Julian offers another narrative: “What God most wants – is to see you smile because you know how much God loves you.” The mission-field narrative does not describe a God I would naturally love. Julian’s narrative tells me of a God I cannot help but love. The God Julian knew is a God who delights in us.
John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, was once approached by a man who came to him in the grip of unbelief. “All is dark; my thoughts are lost,” the man said to Wesley, “but I hear that you preach to a great number of people every night and morning. Pray, what would you do with them? Whither would you lead them? What religion do you preach? What is it good for?”
Wesley gave this answer to those questions: You ask, what would I do with them? I would make them virtuous and happy, easy in themselves, and useful to others. Whither would I lead them? To heaven, to God the judge, the lover of all, and to Jesus the mediator of the New Covenant. What religion do I preach? The religion of love. The law of kindness brought to light by the gospel. What is this good for? To make all who receive it enjoy God and themselves, to make them like God, lovers of all, contented in their lives, and crying out at their death, in calm assurance, “O grave where is thy victory! Thanks be to God, who giveth me victory, through my Lord Jesus Christ.”
I love that answer. What good is it for? – to make all who receive it enjoy God and themselves, to make them like God, lovers of all, contented in their own lives.
The good news of Jesus really is good news. If you are listening to this today and you are far from God. Jesus said I came for those who need a doctor for the soul. His call to you is to follow him. He really does love you as you are right now. But he wants your heart to be whole and healthy and he is the one who is able to make it that way.
The way to start the journey with him is to respond to his love. Jesus, I see that you love me. Forgive me of my sin and heal my heart. I am going to respond to your call and follow you. Jesus hears prayers like that.
For those of you who have been part of a church for a while but you know you have been trying to earn God’s favour by being good. Will you receive God’s love? Will you pray a prayer that says, “Lord forgive my for trying to earn your love with my behaviour? Help me simply to smile and bask in and receive your love. A love with no strings attached.
For those of you whose faith has become a joyless entity. Will you ask God for forgiveness and ask him to help you to really enjoy him? Will you move towards what Wesley said to enjoy God and yourself, so that you will become like God in that you love everyone and are contented with your own life.
The good news is that God really loves you.
This sermon opened with the story of a young woman who became pregnant out of wedlock and was shunned by her pastor when she wanted to help the young women in the youth group. The pastor also refused to baptize her baby. She ended up in another church, and her child was baptized not long after. She worked with young people, finished her education and eventually went into mission work. Today she and her daughter live and work as missionaries in Africa.[2]
Pray
Give thanks for God’s love as we hear Highland Worship sing O the deep deep love of Jesus
[1] Smith, James Bryan. The Good and Beautiful God: Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows (The Apprentice Series Book 1) (pp. 93-94). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition.
[2] Smith, James Bryan. The Good and Beautiful God: Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows (The Apprentice Series Book 1) (p. 107). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition.
Sermon Questions – for January 24th, 2021
The Lies we tell ourselves – Part 5
Lie: “God only loves us when we are good.”
Introduction
1. What is one thing that you have given thanks for this week?
2. What is one thing you are praying about this week?
Digging in
3. Part of the lie we tell ourselves is, “Love and forgiveness are commodities that are exchanged for performance. God’s love and acceptance and forgiveness must be merited by right living.” It is believed that what God most wants is for us is not sin and do good. What effect will this belief have on your life?
4. Henry Cloud says if you walk into a given church on Sunday you are apt to hear a message that goes like this: “God is good, you are bad, try harder.” What is the problem with this message?
5. Matthew 9:9-13 What was the Pharisees expectation of a righteous person in regards sinners? What does Jesus’ actions show about what he thinks of sinners?
6. In verse 12 what does Jesus compare righteousness and sin to?
7. What would be the difference if we viewed sinners as sick people who needed to be healed rather than lawbreakers who need to be punished? (BTW, there is truth in both metaphors)
8. Read 1 John 4:10-11. Who responds to whose love and why is that important?
9. How can the lie, “God only loves us when we are good, affect our spiritual lives?
10. Julian of Norwich once wrote, “The greatest honor we can give to God is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love.” – Do you think that is true?
11. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, was once approached by a man who came to him in the grip of unbelief. “All is dark; my thoughts are lost,” the man said to Wesley, “but I hear that you preach to a great number of people every night and morning. Pray, what would you do with them? Whither would you lead them? What religion do you preach? What is it good for?”
Wesley gave this answer to those questions: You ask, what would I do with them? I would make them virtuous and happy, easy in themselves, and useful to others. Whither would I lead them? To heaven, to God the judge, the lover of all, and to Jesus the mediator of the New Covenant. What religion do I preach? The religion of love. The law of kindness brought to light by the gospel. What is this good for? To make all who receive it enjoy God and themselves, to make them like God, lovers of all, contented in their lives, and crying out at their death, in calm assurance, “O grave where is thy victory! Thanks be to God, who giveth me victory, through my Lord Jesus Christ.”
How do you respond to this definition of what the Christian life is supposed to be and do?